Tag: pray

Use Your GPS

We love being on the trails on our quad. It’s a two-person Outlander and perfect for the trails in Michigan. We go trail riding every chance we get; but, with our busy lives, that is only two or three times a month at the most. Every trip is a blast.

Yesterday started off at the South Branch trail head. We saw several more riders than we normally do, but the trails were still quiet and peaceful. For most of the day, we were all alone without another soul in sight. It was perfect.

The Michigan trail system is pretty well organized. Most trails are numbered and marked to let you know what trail you are on and who is allowed to be on that trail – quad, side-by-side, dirt bike or snowmobile. We always have a printed trail map with us and recently started using a GPS app on our phone with trail maps downloaded. Both of these mapping resources have kept us from getting lost which would be easy to do with so many trails and back roads intersecting in the “middle of nowhere.”

Yesterday, while I was enjoying the scenery and relaxing on the back of our quad, I realized just how important our maps are – both the GPS app and the paper map. We usually check the GPS when we come to an intersection, but yesterday we basically did a mental coin flip and just decided “let’s try this way.” When we got to the next intersection a couple miles away, we noticed that the trail we had taken without checking the map was actually not for quads. We weren’t supposed to be there even though there was no sign stating this fact. It was missing. We immediately checked the map to make sure we chose a legal trail at the next intersection. We got back on track before we got in trouble.

How many times does this happen to all of us in life? We think we have enough experience to choose the right path without checking the map God has given us, and we realize later that we are somewhere that we are not supposed to be. This has happened to me so many times over the years that I couldn’t even begin to list them all.

All I had to do to avoid these wrong-turns was to listen to God’s word but I didn’t. Oh, I may have told myself I was listening to God when I took the road; but, if I later found myself on the wrong path, it meant I wasn’t really listening to Him. I was wrapping His word around my will instead of my will around His word.

In Psalm 119 verse 105 David says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

Genesis through Revelations is the GPS God has given us. Some of it can seem a bit confusing at times, but that doesn’t mean the answers aren’t there for you. Use that GPS to keep your life on the path God wants you traveling. If you stay on the wrong path for too long, it could mean circumstances far worse than the ticket we could have received yesterday for being on the wrong trail on our quad.

“Who Told You That?”

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted to my blog – nine to be exact. I’ve written a few things but they just didn’t feel right. They didn’t feel worthy of posting, so some wait patiently in a notebook and some quickly found the nearest trash can. Despite the fact that I have known for a long time that God has called me to write, nothing I wrote felt good enough to me.

This week I realized why.

Monday I pulled out my copy of The Quest by Beth Moore. It’s a Bible study I started a few months ago but didn’t finish. I started reading the answers I had written back then in response to some of Beth’s questions, and I realized why my writing “wasn’t good enough” but I didn’t do anything that day to change it.

Then I received a message today from God. Well, the message was actually from Facebook, but God can and will use whatever means He needs to in order to get His children to listen. I heard His message weeks ago when a handful of people asked me in the same week if I was still writing. Then I heard His message through Beth this week. Today’s message from Him sunk in when I received a notification that said, “1,014 people who like Forgiven Faith haven’t heard from you in a while. Write a post.”

Four hours later that number has increased by five. I don’t know where all these likes have come from. I haven’t posted since November of 2017 and the last I checked it was only in the 300s. My writing is not enough to attract 1,000 readers and I don’t promote, so I don’t know how my likes increased that much. I do know God has used that number to convict me.

God told me four years ago to write. I fumbled through writing for about three years. Some of my posts were terrible, but some were pretty good.

Somewhere along the way, I guess a year ago, I made a grievous error. I listened to a newly published author who is not a faith-based writer or even a faith-based person. That counsel was very discouraging and I have been unable to focus my thoughts on writing since that time. I learned the feel of writers block.

The counsel I received from Beth Moore this week is helping to reverse the impact of the false counsel I internalized all those months ago, however. There are two questions she posed that really spoke to me. The first felt like a knife in the chest and the second, a knife in the back.

“Where are you?”

When Adam and Eve first sinned, when they ate that infamous fruit they immediately knew they were wrong to do it and they hid from God in the garden. God knew exactly where they were but He wanted them to come to Him, so in Genesis chapter one verse nine, “the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?'”

God has been asking me that same question in more ways than I can remember and today He sent it to me by Facebook. I was knowingly ignoring His directions and was not writing. I was coming up with every possible excuse to explain why I had not done what He had instructed just like Adam and Eve did. I had thrust that knife into my own chest.

Then God (and Beth) asked, “Who told you that…? (Genesis 1:11)”

Who told me my writing was unworthy of publishing? Who told me I was doing it all wrong? Who told me I was wasting my time writing faith-based blogs and stories? Who did I allow to stick a knife in my back?

It wasn’t God who said any of those things to me; and, since it wasn’t God, why was I listening?

I’m back. Good or bad blog post, I’m back. I pray I don’t disappoint.

Hot Potato and No Espanol

I immediately felt a little tug on my heart and knew I couldn’t leave her standing there all by herself. I walked over to her, said “Hola” and sat in the dirt beside her so I could be at her eye level. I read the little sticker on her shirt, pointed to her and said “Emyly.”  She smiled and nodded and I pointed toward myself and said “Holly.”  Emyly smiled and started talking. 

The concrete building was a giant echo chamber, but at least it was cooler than it was outside. We hadn’t been outside long and I hoped we wouldn’t be out much longer. My team, the blue team, consisted of four Buckner International volunteers, one Buckner intern volunteer and two interpreters. We had already finished our vacation Bible school story and memory verse sessions. The crafts and shoes would come later after the recreation session we were outside for right now. I was very happy about the game our recreation leader chose. I am not in shape and I trip over oxygen all the time, but hot potato with a balloon was something I could do. One of the interpreters played some music from her phone. When the music stopped, the person stuck with the balloon had to get in the middle of the circle and do their best imitation of the animal chosen by the recreation leader. We had a monkey, an alligator and a handful of others. I was assigned an elephant for my turn in the middle. 

There was something I found very interesting during my time in Guatemala. The parents and grandparents were often just as excited about the activities as the children were. They tried memorizing the Bible verses, they made the crafts and they often played the games. On this day, we had a handful of parents and they played hot potato along with the rest of us. As I watched the balloon make its second clockwise lap around our little circle, I noticed a little girl, maybe four years old, standing in between two women on my right. She looked excited as the balloon headed her direction. As it made its way to the first woman, the little girl raised her hands to take her turn in passing it, but she wasn’t the only one excited. Both of the women she stood between were enjoying the game and were trying to make sure neither of them ended up in the middle of the circle imitating a cow or rooster, so they got rid of that balloon as quickly as possible. They skipped the little girl. The disappointment lasted only a moment on her face, but I still felt bad for her. As the balloon made its laps and the animal-imitators entered and exited center stage, I was distracted. I don’t know if that little girl in the pink shirt and white hat with little butterflies printed on it ever got her turn to pass the balloon. 

After a few rounds, the recreation leader and interpreters decided to try a new game. We played so many games during that week that I honestly don’t remember what the new game was, but I decided to watch from the sidelines and take some pictures and videos. As I was watching, I noticed the little girl in the white hat with the butterflies standing on the sidelines leaning against the side of a nearby building. She was holding the two purses and umbrella that I remember the two women holding during the earlier game, and she quietly watched everyone else enjoying the fun. I immediately felt a little tug on my heart and knew I couldn’t leave her standing there all by herself. I walked over to her, said “Hola” and sat in the dirt beside her so I could be at her eye level. I read the little sticker on her shirt, pointed to her and said “Emyly.”  She smiled and nodded and I pointed toward myself and said “Holly.”  Emyly smiled and started talking. 

If you read my last blog, you know I don’t speak Spanish, so when she stopped talking and looked at me with a look that indicated she was expecting an answer I had no idea what to say. I did the one thing I had become pretty good at in the last few days. I raised my hands palm up, tilted my head, shrugged my shoulders and said “no Espanol.” Emyly tilted her head back, laughed at me and started talking again. She didn’t appear to ask me any more questions, so I guess she understood what I had told her. That didn’t stop her from talking, though, and from pointing at people and things as she talked. I didn’t have any idea what she was telling me until I heard a Spanish word that sounded similar to the English word family. She talked and talked and talked some more, all the time knowing that I had no clue what she was telling me. I did try pointing out my daughter and telling Emyly that I was Megan’s mom, but I couldn’t remember how to even say that. As Emyly watched, I walked to Megan, got her attention and asked how to say that I was her mom. Megan doesn’t remember much of her high school Spanish but she was able to tell Emyly that I was her mother. 

As I sat back down beside Emyly I tried to find things to communicate with her about. When she took her hat off I traced one of the butterflies with my finger, pointed at it, said “butterfly” and tried to find a way to ask her what a butterfly was called in Spanish. I’m not sure if she ever figured out what I was trying to communicate. I didn’t understand another word she said, but that was okay. This may sound odd to you, as my reader, but despite the fact that neither of us understood anything the other was saying, Emyly and I had a really amazing conversation. We talked and we laughed and we enjoyed the brief time we had together. I will never forget little Emyly.

Children are amazing. Their innocence allows them to grab ahold of faith without questioning it and hold on until that innocence is broken. After it is broken, some manage to hold on but many do not. The Gospel of Luke tells of a time when parents were taking their children to Jesus to have Him touch them. “When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it‘ (Luke 18:15b-17).” 

Heaven is for children – God’s children; but unless we can hold on to our faith like an innocent child does, we risk losing our soul. We have to let go of all of the baggage that we carry as adults and just talk to our Heavenly Father, even when we think He isn’t listening or we don’t understand what He is saying. We need to be like little Emyly and just keep talking to Him – even when we don’t have any idea what His answer is. He is listening; and when the time is right, He will make sure we understand exactly what His answer is. Until that time comes, actively spend your time practicing the faith of a child and keep talking to Him. If you do this, He will answer and you will understand…in His time.

NOTE: Thank you, again, WayFM and Buckner International for giving Megan and I this amazing opportunity to serve with you.

“Luke 18:15b-17.” NIV Archeological Study Bible: An Illustrated Walk through Biblical History and Culture. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005. N. pag. Print.

Flinching in Fear

Have you ever seen a dog or a child who flinches when an adult moves suddenly and unexpectedly?  My new best friend, Lucy, is a 2 year old great dane.  I adopted her about a month ago to ease the loneliness during and after my recent divorce.   Two days ago I picked up the broom and carried it past Lucy to another room. I thought Lucy was focused on her food bowl, but the moment she saw the broom in my hand she flinched and crouched in fear.  I felt so horrible for scaring her.  Even though I was not the actual cause of her fear, I was the trigger on that particular day. 

There was little I could do to calm her.  I put the broom on the floor and coaxed her from her crouching and trembling position.  I tried to get her to sniff the broom and become comfortable with it. I had very little luck that night.  Lucy will eventually learn that she is safe with me despite the broom I may hold, but it will take time.  I’m sure she will need to see me pick up that broom and do nothing but sweep the floor with it for quite a while before her fears are gone.

Physical flinching is usually easy to see and identify,  but there are other forms of flinching that cannot be so easily recognized.  I realized just this morning that I “flinch” with my emotions.  If you have read my other recent posts, you already know I am going through a divorce after nearly 25 years of marriage.   The longer we are apart, the more I see how disfunctional and destructive our relationship has been.  (Please don’t assume I was physically abused.  I was not.)  I don’t flinch at a broom or fist or anything physical.   Just this morning, however, I came to the realization that I “flinch” emotionally.

I have an old friend who has become a close friend in recent weeks.  He and I have spent hours sharing a great deal of the experiences both of us have had in the last couple of decades since we have seen each other.  After a time, our conversations have become more personal and I enjoy them.  He frequently gives me sweet words of affirmation that would make my heart melt if my emotions didn’t tend to flinch the moment his pleasant words hit my ears.  During the last several years, words of affirmation were used almost exclusively in inappropriate ways.  They were occasionally used to precede criticism.   They were frequently used to distract me from the truth going on around me so that I would believe whatever lie was flowing in that particular moment in time. 

I believe my friend is sincere when he speaks his sweet words, but my emotional reaction is almost always to flinch when I hear them and to brace myself for whatever bad experience will follow.  I have no reason to have this reaction to his words.  He has done nothing to hurt me.  Sadly, in this time when my emotions are still so raw from the fresh wounds that have been spoken over the old emotional scars, I flinch in my heart much as Lucy still does when I pick up the broom. 

It hurts me to see Lucy flinch as she does, and I’m sure it hurts my friend when I do the same.  I feel so bad that he is basically reaping consequences of someone else’s actions.  It is not his fault, and it is unfair of me to hurt or frustrate him when he is only being kind and thoughtful.  I try so hard not to let the insecurities that accompany the emotional flinch to take over my thoughts in these moments, but I usually fail with these efforts.  Sometimes, just simply hearing him call me “beautiful” will trigger a flinch that brings with it a low to medium level of fear.  I am so afraid at times to believe his words that I feel almost suffocated by that fear.  I am afraid to trust.  I am afraid to feel anything emotional.  I am afraid to feel anything physical. 

My friend has not done a single thing to cause my fears.  He has simply done something I am sure is natural for him to do.  He has spoken words to melt my heart, but those words have been used by another in a different way.  I must find a way to stop the emotional flinching, but it will take time to heal my heart and emotions.  It will take time for me to trust anyone but God; but, when I put my trust in God, I find the strength to calm my natural tendency to fear and emotionally flinch with the trigger of innocent words.

John 14:27 states, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Relationships: Solid Rock or Sinking Sand

Have you ever felt that your life would be over if a particular relationship you were in were to end? In may be a relationship with a child, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a very close friend or someone else who is close to your heart.  No matter who it is, the person is someone who has been a major part of your life for a long time…someone you don’t want to lose and are willing to make nearly any sacrifice to continue the relationship with.

I’ve had a few of those relationships in my lifetime.  Some of those relationships are still going strong but there have been some relationships that have ended.  Surprisingly, I’m fine.  I can still breathe, eat, drink and go about my day despite the fact that a particular person is no longer in my life.  In each situation, I didn’t think it was possible; but my life did go on.  And guess what…I am happy despite the loss.

It took me a long time to learn the truth of this and I hope you learn it quicker than I did.  The truth is that God is the only truly solid foundation for any relationship.  Matthew 7:24-27 quotes Jesus, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”  Jesus Christ is the only Solid Rock and Foundation that will not fail.  All human relationships fail in some way or another.  Some are able to continue with healing but not all human relationships will survive forever.  Some will fall away; but if we have the Maker of everything as our Foundation, we will survive no matter what.

It reminds me of an old hymn by Edward Mote…

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

Pearl

I’ve always loved horses but I’ve never been able to have one. My husband had to take care of them when he was growing up and didn’t want anything to do with them as an adult. Now I have Pearl.

My son’s girlfriend introduced me to Pearl but not with the intent of Pearl becoming mine. Pearl and a beautiful Arabian horse belonged to a man who was no longer able to keep them. My son’s girlfriend was given the offer to take the Arabian as her own but there was one catch. She couldn’t have the beautiful thoroughbred unless she took the old nag, too. Both horses were taken to the vet prior to us seeing them. We were told we would most definitely need to have a vet come out to put Pearl down. She was in horrible health and it was unlikely she could recover at her age. This was our plan…at least until I saw her unload from that trailer.

Pearl was in horrible physical condition, but she carried her head with such spirit I couldn’t let the rest of my family give up on her. It’s been a slow process and rather expensive and I don’t know if she will ever fit the picture in my mind of what I want her to look like, but she’s not a lost cause.

Pearl reminds me of so many people I’ve met in my life. We’ve all known someone, maybe many someones, the world considers a lost cause. Some of these “lost causes” take a lot of time and effort to save. It can be exhausting and sometimes we need to remember that God doesn’t always expect you to be the one to “fix” everyone. Sometimes you are supposed to sit back and pray while someone else does the work. But just as I felt it would have been inhumane to give up on Pearl, it would be inhumane to consider lost causes as forever lost.

Tired of Praying? Me, too.

Do you ever get tired from the emotional strain of praying for the lost people whom you love?  I mean the kind of tired you feel after praying for years only to see that nothing ever seems to change in that person.  You’ve tried to be a good influence.  You’ve tried to help them in any way you can.  You’ve tried talking openly to them about faith, and you were repaid with accusations that you were judging them.  You’ve tried subtly trying to show them faith by living it as best you can in a terribly fallen world, and you were called a hypocrite with all of your flaws and failures thrown in your face.  You stepped back from the situation and tried to be just a friend on the outside while you prayed fervently on the inside and were accused of not being a good friend or family member because you weren’t doing enough.  You tried all of this but nothing ever changed.  It may even seem like the situation has become worse.  I’ve been that kind of tired.  It seems like I’ve spent the last few years that kind of tired.  As tiring and emotionally draining as this seemingly-fruitless praying can be, we can’t give up.  Praying for the lost is not a simple choice we make.  It is just one battle in a Spiritual war going on all around us every day.

“Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe.  They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News.  They don’t understand about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God (2 Corinthians 4:4 The Bible, New Living Translation).”  Satan first deceived himself; and ever since he first fell, he has been the deceiver to all.  There is no redemption for him, and he is determined to take as many of us with him as he can in the final Judgement.  If you are the kind of tired I am, then you, like me, know we have been given a way to escape Judgement.  John 3:16 is pretty recognizable, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life,” but John doesn’t stop there with the Good News.  “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.  There is no judgement against anyone who believes in him.  But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son.  And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.  All who do evil and hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.  But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants (John 3:17-21 The Bible, New Living Translation).”  That very last sentence says so much.  We are not to live up to the reputation that Christianity has earned for itself throughout the years.  We are to be real Christians, believers who truly try to follow Christ’s teaching, and we are to express His love to the world so that the world will see and feel His love for all people.  This includes those people who have already exhausted us and led us to nearly give up on them.

So if we can’t give up on our loved ones and we can’t really talk openly to them because they get angry, what are we left with?  We pray and we live the best we can, and we continue to do these things until we can’t do them any more.  We learn to love them like Christ loved them.  We remember that He never stopped loving them.  We never give up.  We remember, “The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth.  They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry.  It is the same with my word.  I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it (Isaiah 55:11-12 The Bible, New Living Translation).”   God will use your words, actions and prayers to plant seeds.

I recently heard a story about a man who was walking down George Street in Sydney, Australia when a man stepped from a doorway and handed him a tract.  That tract eventually let him to a relationship with Christ and he eventually became a preacher.  This preacher was later counseling a woman and asked where she heard about salvation.  She told him she had recently been walking on George Street in Sydney, Australia when a man stepped out of a doorway and gave her a tract.  Some time later, the preacher was talking to another person about where he learned about Christ.  He also mentioned the man on George Street.  After hearing the same story numerous times at conventions and meeting all over the world, the man decided to look up this man who had planted so many seeds on George Street.  When he told the man about the many people he had talked to who claimed their first step toward salvation was when he gave them a tract, the man broke down in tears.  This man had given out tracts for years on George Street and never knew anyone had ever been saved because of the seeds he planted.  It has been estimated that over 100,000 people were saved because this man never gave up.  He continued to do what God wanted him to as long as he was physically capable of doing it even though he never knew he had made a difference.

Don’t give up on your loved ones.  Keep praying.  God’s words will not return to Him without producing fruit.