Tag: love

Hot Potato and No Espanol

I immediately felt a little tug on my heart and knew I couldn’t leave her standing there all by herself. I walked over to her, said “Hola” and sat in the dirt beside her so I could be at her eye level. I read the little sticker on her shirt, pointed to her and said “Emyly.”  She smiled and nodded and I pointed toward myself and said “Holly.”  Emyly smiled and started talking. 

The concrete building was a giant echo chamber, but at least it was cooler than it was outside. We hadn’t been outside long and I hoped we wouldn’t be out much longer. My team, the blue team, consisted of four Buckner International volunteers, one Buckner intern volunteer and two interpreters. We had already finished our vacation Bible school story and memory verse sessions. The crafts and shoes would come later after the recreation session we were outside for right now. I was very happy about the game our recreation leader chose. I am not in shape and I trip over oxygen all the time, but hot potato with a balloon was something I could do. One of the interpreters played some music from her phone. When the music stopped, the person stuck with the balloon had to get in the middle of the circle and do their best imitation of the animal chosen by the recreation leader. We had a monkey, an alligator and a handful of others. I was assigned an elephant for my turn in the middle. 

There was something I found very interesting during my time in Guatemala. The parents and grandparents were often just as excited about the activities as the children were. They tried memorizing the Bible verses, they made the crafts and they often played the games. On this day, we had a handful of parents and they played hot potato along with the rest of us. As I watched the balloon make its second clockwise lap around our little circle, I noticed a little girl, maybe four years old, standing in between two women on my right. She looked excited as the balloon headed her direction. As it made its way to the first woman, the little girl raised her hands to take her turn in passing it, but she wasn’t the only one excited. Both of the women she stood between were enjoying the game and were trying to make sure neither of them ended up in the middle of the circle imitating a cow or rooster, so they got rid of that balloon as quickly as possible. They skipped the little girl. The disappointment lasted only a moment on her face, but I still felt bad for her. As the balloon made its laps and the animal-imitators entered and exited center stage, I was distracted. I don’t know if that little girl in the pink shirt and white hat with little butterflies printed on it ever got her turn to pass the balloon. 

After a few rounds, the recreation leader and interpreters decided to try a new game. We played so many games during that week that I honestly don’t remember what the new game was, but I decided to watch from the sidelines and take some pictures and videos. As I was watching, I noticed the little girl in the white hat with the butterflies standing on the sidelines leaning against the side of a nearby building. She was holding the two purses and umbrella that I remember the two women holding during the earlier game, and she quietly watched everyone else enjoying the fun. I immediately felt a little tug on my heart and knew I couldn’t leave her standing there all by herself. I walked over to her, said “Hola” and sat in the dirt beside her so I could be at her eye level. I read the little sticker on her shirt, pointed to her and said “Emyly.”  She smiled and nodded and I pointed toward myself and said “Holly.”  Emyly smiled and started talking. 

If you read my last blog, you know I don’t speak Spanish, so when she stopped talking and looked at me with a look that indicated she was expecting an answer I had no idea what to say. I did the one thing I had become pretty good at in the last few days. I raised my hands palm up, tilted my head, shrugged my shoulders and said “no Espanol.” Emyly tilted her head back, laughed at me and started talking again. She didn’t appear to ask me any more questions, so I guess she understood what I had told her. That didn’t stop her from talking, though, and from pointing at people and things as she talked. I didn’t have any idea what she was telling me until I heard a Spanish word that sounded similar to the English word family. She talked and talked and talked some more, all the time knowing that I had no clue what she was telling me. I did try pointing out my daughter and telling Emyly that I was Megan’s mom, but I couldn’t remember how to even say that. As Emyly watched, I walked to Megan, got her attention and asked how to say that I was her mom. Megan doesn’t remember much of her high school Spanish but she was able to tell Emyly that I was her mother. 

As I sat back down beside Emyly I tried to find things to communicate with her about. When she took her hat off I traced one of the butterflies with my finger, pointed at it, said “butterfly” and tried to find a way to ask her what a butterfly was called in Spanish. I’m not sure if she ever figured out what I was trying to communicate. I didn’t understand another word she said, but that was okay. This may sound odd to you, as my reader, but despite the fact that neither of us understood anything the other was saying, Emyly and I had a really amazing conversation. We talked and we laughed and we enjoyed the brief time we had together. I will never forget little Emyly.

Children are amazing. Their innocence allows them to grab ahold of faith without questioning it and hold on until that innocence is broken. After it is broken, some manage to hold on but many do not. The Gospel of Luke tells of a time when parents were taking their children to Jesus to have Him touch them. “When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it‘ (Luke 18:15b-17).” 

Heaven is for children – God’s children; but unless we can hold on to our faith like an innocent child does, we risk losing our soul. We have to let go of all of the baggage that we carry as adults and just talk to our Heavenly Father, even when we think He isn’t listening or we don’t understand what He is saying. We need to be like little Emyly and just keep talking to Him – even when we don’t have any idea what His answer is. He is listening; and when the time is right, He will make sure we understand exactly what His answer is. Until that time comes, actively spend your time practicing the faith of a child and keep talking to Him. If you do this, He will answer and you will understand…in His time.

NOTE: Thank you, again, WayFM and Buckner International for giving Megan and I this amazing opportunity to serve with you.

“Luke 18:15b-17.” NIV Archeological Study Bible: An Illustrated Walk through Biblical History and Culture. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005. N. pag. Print.

Crazy, Miss-Matched Socks

​After working with children all morning, I was a little nervous about working with one of the mothers. As I sat on the floor in front of her chair, I knew the only thing she could possibly say that I would understand was “Hola” so I decided to be the first to say it in an effort to at least express friendliness even if I couldn’t verbally show it in any other words. She responded with “Hola” and continued with a few words of her own. I looked around the crowded room and couldn’t find an available interpreter, so I held my hands palms up, shrugged my shoulders, smiled and said “no Espanol.” I wasn’t even sure if I had said that correctly, but I knew she understood from her “ah” and nod.

I untied the laces of the shoe she wore on her right foot and gently removed her shoe and sock. Then I picked up the new shoes and started to remove the new socks that were stuffed inside. My first thoughts upon seeing those new socks were, “I cannot give her these. What am I supposed to do with these things? She is not going to want them. Where is an interpreter to explain how sorry I am that this is what I’m giving her? I wish I had my own bag with me, so I could just give her one of the new pair of socks I had packed for myself.” I now wish I knew how many of those silent thoughts she could see on my face. She hadn’t seen her new socks yet since I hadn’t completely removed them from the shoe they were stuffed into and unrolled them, and I really didn’t want to show them to her. I quickly glanced around the room again for an interpreter or someone who would hopefully be able to find me a new pair of socks, but no miracle showed up…or so I thought.

I know I must have worn a cringe on my face as I unrolled the pair of knee high striped socks. Oh, how I wished in that moment the only thing unusual about this woman’s new socks was the length and striped print! As I finished unrolling and separating them, she saw what I saw around thirty seconds earlier. One sock had blue and white stripes while the other had green and white stripes. Even that was not the most unusual thing about these socks. They had toes. Toes…like the socks I had been given years earlier as a gag-gift for Christmas. I was presenting this woman who was older than my forty-four years with a pair of socks that came to her knees, were different colors and had the toes separated.

I was expecting her to look at me with an expression that would say not only “no” but “are you kidding me.” In afterthought, I think I was more surprised by her response than she was about the socks. Here’s when I realized the miracle. She just laughed. She wasn’t upset. She wasn’t bothered in the slightest. She didn’t seem even the tiniest bit disappointed. She laughed and her smile showed as much in her eyes as it did on her mouth. Then her laugh became contagious. Neither of us could stop laughing as I washed her foot and put the sock on. We laughed even harder when we realized the toes on the socks were longer than the toes on her feet which made it even more complicated to make sure I had only one of her toes in each toe of the sock. Have you ever tried a pair of toe-socks? They can be hard to put on your own feet. They are really difficult when you are putting them on someone else’s feet.

Eventually, we managed to get all ten of her toes in the correct places and I put her new shoes on. She expressed her thanks, left her seat and a child took her place on the chair in front of me. The next hour or so was uneventful. I washed several pair of feet and replaced worn shoes and socks with new ones. As my team members and I were finishing up with our last few pair of feet, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find the woman I had laughed with about her crazy socks. She embraced me with the biggest hug and again thanked me. We shared another laugh and each went our separate ways knowing we will never see each other again, but I believe both of us felt a special bond was formed between us…over two crazy, miss-matched socks.

Our bond was formed on day two of a mission trip with Buckner International. My daughter and I were blessed with an all expense paid trip that I won through the WayFM radio station. We spent one week in Guatemala teaching vacation Bible school followed by giving the kids and a few parents and grandparents shoes. We told stories, helped them memorize a Bible verse, made crafts and played recreational games with more children and families than I could count. When those activities were over, we turned to the socks and shoes.

I have heard many people compare the foot washing we did to when Christ washed the feet of his disciples prior to His crucifixion, but I have a hard time making that comparison to my own actions. As I sit here now in my seat on the flight home and think back on the last week, I feel more like Mary who washed Jesus feet while he was in Bethany; but instead of washing the feet of Jesus, I was washing the feet of His disciples in His physical absence. This woman, Mary, was not a saint. She was a sinner just like the rest of us. “When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, ‘If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is – that she is a sinner.’ (Luke 7:39) She was also criticized for using valuable oil to wash Jesus’ feet. “But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, ‘Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given the to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.’ (John 12:4-5)” 

The only One who could truly judge this woman was Jesus Christ but He chose to extend the grace and mercy only He can give. “Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven…Your faith has saved you; go in peace,’ “(Luke 7:47,50). She couldn’t hide her sin, but she could rise above it. She could make the most of her resources to honor Jesus Christ, and for that He praised her and her story was given an honored place in Scripture. I am not looking for fame and honor or even recognition for participating in this mission trip. I, like this woman, just want to honor Jesus Christ in whatever way I can, and I want to spread His love around the world. If that simply means talking to my neighbors, my co-workers and other people who cross my path about what Jesus has done for me, I will do it. If that means putting a pair of crazy, miss-matched socks on someone’s feet, I will do that, too.

“John 12:4-5; Luke 7:39, 47,50.” NIV Archeological Study Bible: An Illustrated Walk through Biblical History and Culture. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2005. N. pag. Print.

Hidden Headlights

This Christmas season, I have done a bit more thinking than I normally do about the Christmas season as a whole…the Christmas lights and tree and other decorations, the original reason for our celebrations, the way Christmas has become so commercialized in the last few decades, the way we take for granted that everyone we celebrate with this year will be here to celebrate with us next year.

Many years ago I drove a gorgeous, black, 1980-something TransAm. It had all the options, gold ground effects, nice wheels, and T-tops, of course. I loved that car. I looked good driving that car. I did have one problem with it, though. After I had driven it for a while, the headlights started to stick. They would turn on, but they wouldn’t open out of the hood like they were supposed to. I had lights, but no one could see them. I may as well not have had any lights at all.

This Christmas season, I have done a bit more thinking than I normally do about the Christmas season as a whole…the Christmas lights and tree and other decorations, the original reason for our celebrations, the way Christmas has become so commercialized in the last few decades, the way we take for granted that everyone we celebrate with this year will be here to celebrate with us next year. I have thought a lot about the loss of both sets of my grandparents, the loss of a close friend of my boyfriend, the loss of another friend’s father, and the many people I know who are feeling the recent loss of a close relationship. We’ve all heard the old saying, “We don’t know what tomorrow may bring;” but we don’t always take it seriously until it is too late.

In Matthew chapter 5, versus 14 through 16 Jesus said, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” If you are a forgiven child of God, you have a light in the form of the Holy Spirit living in you. Do you let that light shine so the people around you can see it? Do you, instead, keep it “under the hood” and hidden most of the time? Do the people closest to you know you are a Christian? Do you play it safe in this difficult political climate our nation is in and keep your light private so only you and those closest to you can see it?

We really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t know if the people around us will be here in another year, month, week, day or even hour. We have been instructed by Jesus to keep our light shining so that those around us can see it and come to know God by seeing His light in us. If your light cannot be clearly seen, take the necessary steps to uncover it and make it shine brightly. Just like I had to have someone work on my car so the lights would open out of the hood and be seen, we should take our hearts to the One who can make sure we are shining like a headlight on the narrow road.

At the End of the Day…

During my lunch break today, I ran some errands. The first stop was to the post office closest to my office. I only have an hour for lunch, so I assure you I cringed inwardly at the long line and the fact that only one person was working the counter.

During my lunch break today, I ran some errands. The first stop was to the post office closest to my office. I only have an hour for lunch, so I assure you I cringed inwardly at the long line and the fact that only one person was working the counter. “I am in a hurry and this post office should know better than to have only one person working when so many people will be running their errands during their lunches. Good grief! And it’s Christmas package mailing season on top of that,” I thought to myself. I watched silently not revealing my thoughts as the line slowly crept forward and did my best to hold a smile on my face even though I didn’t feel that smile in my heart during those moments. It didn’t take me long to realize the young woman at the counter was being trained by the man standing beside her.

In the fifteen minutes I was in that line, I heard four people make a string of very loud comments about how slow the line was and how inadequate the service was. There was not one person in that room smiling…or even not frowning…other than the young woman at the counter and myself.

When it was finally my turn in the line I bought my stamps, paid my postage and told her to keep smiling. “You are doing a great job. Ignore anything that says otherwise from the other customers today. I mean it. You’re doing a great job and while in training, too. Don’t let them get you down.” Her smile grew just a little as her trainer smiled at me and told me he had said the same things to her this morning.

Did I get all my errands run during my lunch today? No, but does it really matter? The errands missed will get done after work tonight or during lunch tomorrow. I wanted them done today, but at the end of the day will this really matter enough to give it another frustrated thought? No.

Did any of the other customers in that post office today change their circumstances by scowling or saying what they thought about the service? No, they continued to stand in that line until they made it to the counter and took care of their business.  When they were done, they left with their frowns showing clearly on their faces and their negativity showing clearly on their hearts. I’m sure many if not all vented afterwards about their visit to the post office to everyone they spoke to that afternoon, but what does venting about it accomplish? It spreads the negativity in the heart of the complainer to the mind of the listener. Sadly, that negativity will spread not just to the minds of the listeners but also to the hearts of some listeners.

Wouldn’t this world be a better place if instead of venting about minutes lost, we chose to spread grace and mercy from heart to heart this holiday season? At the end of the day…at the end of all days…it’s the condition of the heart that matters. Does the condition of your heart encourage or discourage other people who cross your path each day?

Not a New Chapter, but a New Book

As I have traveled the difficult road through divorce this year, several people have suggested I consider the many changes as a new chapter in the book of my life. I disagree. What I am living right now is not a new chapter. It is a completely new book. I will not let anyone wrestle the pen and blank pages from my hands this time. I will hold the pen and I will fill the pages. This new book will not be like the last. It will not be able to be labeled as a drama full of sadness and betrayal as the last book could be. If this new book were to be labeled to put on a shelf, it would be considered an inspirational novel full of love, passion and spiritual growth.

Stop Trying to Understand

“I just don’t understand how they could do this to me.” I have heard this said so many times over the years and recently have said it myself several times. When someone you have loved for many years decides to act in a way that destroys the relationship you have with him or her, the pain you feel can overwhelm you and trigger a multitude of feelings and questions. You may feel like I recently did: stuck in a pit of quicksand, slipping a little deeper every time I tried to answer another “how could he” question. As much as I would like to know the answers to each of the questions I think of, I have decided it may be best if I don’t understand them and can never answer them. Isaiah 55:3,6-9 says, “Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life….Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously. ‘My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’ says the Lord. ‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts….'” Nowhere in this passage does God instruct us to study so we may understand the thoughts and actions of other people. Nowhere does He say we will understand what other people do or why they do it. What He does tell us is that we need to listen to Him and study His ways. The more we understand God’s ways, the less we will understand the ways of man including the men or women who hurt us. Stop trying to understand how someone you love could do something that hurts you deeply. If you understand it, you are capable of doing it yourself. You are almost always better off not understanding it and not being capable of it. This is almost always the only way out of the quicksand. 

Relationships: Solid Rock or Sinking Sand

Have you ever felt that your life would be over if a particular relationship you were in were to end? In may be a relationship with a child, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a very close friend or someone else who is close to your heart.  No matter who it is, the person is someone who has been a major part of your life for a long time…someone you don’t want to lose and are willing to make nearly any sacrifice to continue the relationship with.

I’ve had a few of those relationships in my lifetime.  Some of those relationships are still going strong but there have been some relationships that have ended.  Surprisingly, I’m fine.  I can still breathe, eat, drink and go about my day despite the fact that a particular person is no longer in my life.  In each situation, I didn’t think it was possible; but my life did go on.  And guess what…I am happy despite the loss.

It took me a long time to learn the truth of this and I hope you learn it quicker than I did.  The truth is that God is the only truly solid foundation for any relationship.  Matthew 7:24-27 quotes Jesus, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”  Jesus Christ is the only Solid Rock and Foundation that will not fail.  All human relationships fail in some way or another.  Some are able to continue with healing but not all human relationships will survive forever.  Some will fall away; but if we have the Maker of everything as our Foundation, we will survive no matter what.

It reminds me of an old hymn by Edward Mote…

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.