Category: Happiness

Three Strong Women

Strong Woman #1:

She watched as the water rose a little higher each day. The beautiful pasture behind her house was gone. The only evidence her house had not been built lakeside was the many trees still trying to climb above the rising floodwaters to reach the sky above. The barn that normally stored her husband’s equipment and tools was in the middle of this new “lake” and reachable only by boat.

She stood on the back step of her house explaining to her friends by live-feed that they couldn’t stay at their home any longer since it, too, could only be reached by boat. She asked for prayers for everyone living in her rural community, but she also made sure we knew she was going to be fine because God was already providing for her family.

She was so positive about her dire circumstances that it was inspiring.

Strong Woman #2:

In an interview following the hurricane that devastated her community, she admitted to looking at her husband in the midst of the storm and telling him they weren’t going to make it. They did make it but had to climb through rubble to get out of the building that collapsed around them.

Her life, her community, her town in shambles – she went to work. She was the mayor and her people needed her to be strong when they couldn’t be. She organized; she helped; she found resources; she did whatever she needed to do to help the people counting on her. All the while, she kept a line of communication going for the community to both give them needed information and also lift their spirits.

She was so positive about her dire circumstances that it was inspiring.

Strong Woman #3:

She listened to what the doctor had to say. The diagnosis was worse than she had originally been told. It was cancer and it had spread. She was no stranger to cancer. She was a widow of nearly six years because of cancer. She had fought it a few years ago in her own battle and won.

She looked to the doctor with a brave smile on her face and told him she was going to hold on to what her very wise grandson had told her five years ago when she faced her first battle. That young boy, who was wise beyond his ten years, told her that if she won that fight she was going to get to stay with him, the grandson. If she didn’t win, she would get to stay with Jesus. “Either way, it’s a win/win situation for you, Grandma,” she repeated.

She was so positive about her dire circumstances that it was inspiring.

These three woman have all recently found themselves in circumstances that would break many people. I’m sure they each feel overwhelmed and afraid at times. As of this moment, all three are still living in their respective crisis. Despite their circumstances, they are all three a beautiful example of the Proverbs 31 wife. They are all inspiring.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue…’Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all’ (Proverbs 31:25-26,29 NIV).”

What if Jesus Wrote Our New Year’s Resolutions?

My lunch box looks like my new year’s resolution has something to do with eating healthy. (We won’t discuss the donut I got at the coffee shop this morning on my way to work.) My credit card statement looks like my news year’s resolution has something to do with living on a budget. Both of these are probably good resolutions and things I should do, but they aren’t my new year’s resolution.

In the first Sunday sermon I heard this year, Pastor Phil asked, “What if Jesus wrote our new year’s resolutions?” Wow! What an interesting thought! What if He did? I think my resolution would be “do not be afraid and do not worry.”

The list of Bible verses instructing us not to be afraid and not to worry is nearly endless. Here are just a few.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

My list could go on for a very long time, but I think you can already see the pattern in these five verses.

Don’t worry and don’t fear. If you are focussed on Jesus, He will take care of you. Life may not always be trouble-free and painless, but He will be with you to sustain you through this life until you reach the end of it, and then He will meet you at the gate to the next life…the one that lasts forever.

Thankful

“Thank God for unanswered prayers” is not just a line in a Garth Brooks song. Today I am very thankful that God never answered the prayer I prayed nearly every day for more years than I care to remember.

For most of my twenty-five year marriage, I begged God to change the heart and behavior of my husband. I begged God to convince my husband to be faithful and to truly love me. I couldn’t understand why God never answered that prayer.

Two and a half years after I finally divorced that man, I realized why God ignored me for all those years. God had something better for me…better than anything I ever imagined. I have a wonderful life now with a wonderful man who loves me dearly and would never even consider being unfaithful. He shows me every day how much he values me, how much he loves me and how much he respects me.

On this Thanksgiving day I am very thankful for one particular unanswered prayer. Even more than that, I’m thankful for a wonderful man who treats me like a princess every single day. God knows what He is doing. Wait for Him.

Adventures in Moving – Day 1

I have Lucy, my 110 pound great dane, on a leash that is wrapped around my left wrist. Romeo, my siamese cat, is in the pet carrier in my left hand. I have a purse and another bag over my left shoulder and I’m pulling my large duffle bag with my right hand. Thank God that bag has wheels. We’ve stopped rather early but I don’t care. Lucy needs to stretch her legs. Romeo is a cat and thinks he needs to be pampered as all cats think they should be. I just need sleep.

Where is room 337? I know the desk clerk said there was an elevator. Where is it? With my duffle flipping over every few seconds as Lucy jerks me towards yet another interesting smell and poor Romeo getting jostled all over the place, we round a corner and there it is – the elevator. The door opens, I enter, Lucy enters and Lucy quickly exits again just as the doors are beginning to close. She was not going to enter that moving metal box willingly. So here I am with my arms over full, using my foot to try to keep the door from closing on the leash as she’s outside the elevator. I finally drag her on and she hunkers down for the short ride up. 

We exit the elevator, Lucy practically bolting from it, find our room and all three of us are in the beautiful king-sized bed within five minutes of entering the room. I don’t think a bed has ever felt so comfortable as tonight after spending an afternoon with Romeo wandering all over the cab of the moving truck meowing and Lucy trying to figure out how she can sit in my lap while I drive.

Today was a rather uneventful day on the road. Hopefully, tomorrow will be the same. This has not been one of my more entertaining posts, but it’s the update on my trip that people keep asking for. If all goes well, tomorrow will be just as boring. 

Hitting the Reset Button

I received the phone call of a lifetime two days ago – a phone call that allows me to hit the reset button on my life.  My first thoughts after that call consisted of, “Wow! How often does that happen?  How often does someone get to reset their entire life?  It must be a rare occurrence.  I am so blessed to have this amazing opportunity!” 

For two days I have lived with joyful thoughts of making plans for my new life and I decided a few minutes ago that tonight was the night to tell everyone about the upcoming changes in my life.  I picked up my journal and pen and wrote the first sentence.  I had a plan for how this blog was going to go, but halfway through the first paragraph it changed.  As I was writing “How often…” I realized I have had numerous opportunities to reset my life.  I’ve just ignored them.

God has led me to many crossroads that would have been much better paths than the one I wandered on for most of my life.  I’ve struggled on the same path for many, many years.  Sometimes the path was easy to travel; but, more often than not, it was covered in obstacles.  I have stumbled in bare feet over sharp gravel.  I have stubbed my toes on numerous boulders.  I have tripped over pot holes.  I have even crawled over walls of debris to stay on a very painful path while ignoring easy detours that could have helped me avoid the debris pile.  I have stopped to glance down crossroads before – crossroads covered in soft grass with beautiful wildflowers lining the sides.  They often looked inviting; but fear of the unknown kept me moving forward, stumbling down my chosen treacherous path.

Eventually, I did take a crossroad but it wasn’t covered in soft grass in the beginning.  It was rough, just not as rough as the road I traveled for so long.  God never gave up on me.  He knew how stubborn I was.  He even knew how long I was going to stumble along before taking the opportunity He gave.  I finally followed His lead.  He led me on the new path for a while and it’s been a good one.  The crossroad I chose was really scary in the beginning and wasn’t without a little sharp gravel, but that’s only because I chose the one with gravel rather than one of the earlier ones with soft grass.

I thought this second path was the one God intended me to follow for the rest of my life, but another road recently crossed my path.  My first instinct was to stay on the path I was already on but then I realized this crossroad may have been another one of His.  It’s scary to leave one path for another – at least it is for a person who doesn’t like change and has faced a lot of it in the last couple of years, but I’m doing it.

Despite my fear, I am hitting the reset button on Monday, the day after Christmas.  My reset button is big and yellow and says Penske on the side of it.  Once it’s loaded with everything I own, it will take me about 1,000 miles north.  I am moving from Bay County, Florida to Bay County, Michigan to start my new job as an accountant.  I am scared, but I am way more excited than I am scared.  For once in my life I am going on faith and taking the crossroad God has given me without arguing with Him first.  He will take care of any gravel and pot holes.

The reset button is scary but amazing at the same time.

The Forming of a Canyon

When I googled “definition of canyon” I was shown a nearly endless list of definitions. The most descriptive one (that didn’t put me to sleep) described a canyon as “a deep, narrow valley surrounded by tall cliffs. Because a canyon is often very deep, be very cautious when standing on the rocky cliffs above. The noun canyon refers to the deep ravine that has been cut into the earth’s surface over a long period of time by erosion from a running river” (https://www.vocabulary.com).

This may surprise you, but I have watched a canyon form. It started as a small valley between two hills, but within one quarter century it could easily be compared to the Grand Canyon. I know it doesn’t sound possible for a mere twenty-five years to create a great canyon with steep cliffs that could easily claim the life of any traveler who makes one tiny mistep; but, I assure you, that is exactly what I witnessed.

What originally began as two small hills with an easily crossed valley between them, was actually two young lives separated by slightly different beliefs. Both lives were able to cross back and forth with ease over the valley. As the young lives grew older, the beliefs that once appeared similar began to change.   Little disagreements began to trickle through the valley like a small stream. As the lives grew older the disagreements also grew, and the small stream began to flow stronger and wider but was able to be easily crossed for a long time.

After a few years the skies grew dark over the valley with clouds of temptation that cast shadows on both the hills and the valley. The clouds were followed by a torrential rain of indiscretion that was followed by an unending supply of more clouds and more rain. The stream became a river. Eventually, the rushing water and many torrential rains tore at the edges of both hills. The river flowed fast and hard and changed the entire landscape of these two lives.

As the ground gave way and the valley grew in width and depth, the two lives changed in many ways. One of the lives tried many times to build a bridge between the two hills, but the other life liked the rain. The harder the rain, the more entertained that life was. The harder the rain, the more fragile the other life was. After one particularly hard rain, the fragile life lost her footing at the edge of the final bridge. That life became so sad that she longed to be washed away by the flood that was rushing through the great canyon between the cliffs where two hills once rested.

The story of these two lives did not end there. The life that was entertained by the rains and rapids still resides where his hill once stood. He is still entertained but never fulfilled. The other life, however, was changed beyond recognition. The Creator of the original hills and valley has gifted her with a new life far better that the one she sadly lived for so long. She sees no clouds or rain. She now sees sunshine and flowers everywhere she looks. Her new life has beauty and fulfillment beyond comprehension. All she had to do to receive this beautiful new life was to look to the Creator and give Him the old life in exchange for the new.

“See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you…” Matthew 6:28b-30a.

Redirected Pain

If you have followed my blog at all, you know my life has been quite stressful during the last several months. The last year and a half have left me feeling like I am a deer running through a forest with a firing squad of hunters chasing me. I may run out of one hunter’s sights but quickly find myself with another closing in. No matter how fast I run nor how well I hide, I have a constant fear that the next hunter will be the one who hits his mark. I’ve been grazed many times and have scars to prove it, but I often don’t feel like one wound has scarred over before the next is delivered.

Last night I received a unexpected phone call from someone I had not talked to in several months. It was a brief conversation that included good moments and bad, but both the good and the bad left me a great deal to think about in the hours after.

God used that conversation to point out two very important things to me. I already knew the last few years and especially the last few months have triggered feelings of complete distrust. I trust almost no one. Even those few I do trust to never intentionally hurt me, I do not trust to accidentally betray my confidence. This state of complete mistrust is not a pleasant place to find myself. It comes naturally to me to unconsciously look for an ulterior motive in every relationship I have. Most of the time, I don’t even realize I am doing this until I have completed my evaluation of everything said and done in a particular situation or interaction. I don’t know how long I will struggle with this lack of trust, but I have found I am only hurting myself.

The second thing I have recognized after pondering the conversation last night is that I need to change my focus. Yes, my life has been really rough lately and no one would blame me for being exhausted, bitter and angry, but what good does it do me to feel sorry for myself. What purpose do anger and resentment have? I can tell you one thing for sure; exhaustion, anger and resentment, even when justified, serve one single purpose. They keep you from focusing on what God wants you to focus on. It’s that simple. No matter what your circumstances, God can use you in some way to help someone else.

In Mark chapter 8 and verse 2 Jesus says, “I feel sorry for these people. They have been here with me for three days and they have nothing left to eat.” Jesus had already done plenty for these people and numerous others. He had gone well above and beyond and knew that He would eventually pay the ultimate price in His death on the cross in the place of these people and the rest of the world. He was under no obligation to take care of them. He was under no obligation to feed them. He would have been completely justified in leaving at any time to get some much-needed rest and a good meal, but He didn’t. He knew that He could do something more for these people even if it meant He did less for Himself. He knew He would soon suffer a terrible death in the place of humanity yet he still took the time to help these people.

How different would this world be if we, those of us who are already exhausted, bruised and scarred, took the hurt that we feel and directed that pain into helping someone else?

The Other Side of the Valley of Baca

Do you feel like you are wandering through a desert with nothing but sand to see in every direction? I’ve felt at various times in my life like I was in a desert, but those deserts were nothing in comparison to the Valley of Baca I have traveled through this past year.

I’m sure we have all seen at least one movie in which someone is stranded in a desert, trudging through the sand, thirsty, sunburned, so desperate for water and shade that they sometimes see a mirage with a pool of cool, clear water in the shade of some palms.

Psalm 84 talks of one of these deserts called the Valley of Baca. When I googled Baca I found a variety of definitions. One definition describes love, another defines Baca as a specific type of tree, but the most common definition of Baca is a desert known as the Valley of Weeping. Many historians believe travelers on their way to the Feast of Tabernacle would often have no choice but to travel through the Valley of Baca. It is thought that the travelers would often dig a hole in the hopes it would fill with ground water. If that didn’t happen, the hole would be left with the hope that it would fill with rain water that the next weary traveler could drink.

Do you feel like you are in Baca right now? Do you feel like you are wandering through a desert with nothing but sand to see in every direction? I’ve felt at various times in my life like I was in a desert, but those deserts were nothing in comparison to the Valley of Baca I have traveled through this past year.

In these last few months, I have longed for peace and comfort. I have experienced moments of peace in which the hole I dug had filled with water and other moments when I found a hole dug by another traveler that had filled with life-sustaining water through rain. I have walked. I have crawled. I have fallen and rolled down the giant sand dunes like I have seen in movies. I have even been carried through portions of my Valley of Baca. I have cried, I have prayed, I have begged, and I have praised. I have trudged up one sand dune hoping to see a luscious, green valley on the other side, just to drop to my knees and cry when I reach the top and see nothing but sand in all directions on the other side. I have often longed for God to pick me up and hold me in His lap like a child and comfort and protect me.

In Psalm 84:5-9 the Psalmist wrote, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage.  As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make a spring; the rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.”

I am here to tell you that I have traveled through Baca and I can see the other side. I am not quite to that beautiful, green grass, but I can almost feel it between my toes. If you are in your own Valley of Baca, don’t give up. Keep going. Dig a hole for water. If you are too tired to dig, find a hole some other traveler has left for you. If you can’t walk any more right now on your own, find another traveler to help you. Keep moving.

“How lovely is Your tabernacle, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young – even Your alters, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they will still be praising You….For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.  I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You” (Psalm 84:1-4,10-12).

Cry out to God and focus on Him. If all you can see right now when you look around you is Baca and God, you have all you need. God carried me through Baca, and He will do the same for you if you will just ask.

New Happiness Despite Old Circumstances

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be where I am today, I would have told them they were crazy. Not only would I have never allowed things to spin this far out of control, I would never have been able to survive as things are now.

If someone had told me six months ago that everything that my life was would be gone in three months, I would have told them they were as wrong as wrong could be.

If someone had told me three months ago that I would soon be happier than I had been in over two decades, I would have told them they had no idea what they were talking about and obviously didn’t know me very well. At that time I was too devestated to really, truly function or see any possibility of happiness in my future.

Guess what. In each of these instances I would have been the one who was wrong. When I look back on the multitude of major changes that have taken place during this difficult time in my life, I visualize a big box that my life was carefully packed away in. Some of my life was packed neatly and organized and some was simply thrown into the box with the rest. Regardless of how or when it was placed in the box, each item was very valuable to me. Once my whole life was packed away to keep it safe, someone snatched the box from the place l had hidden it for safety.  They flipped it upside down and shook until the entire box, my life, was empty, handed that empty box to me, stomped on much of the contents and then smugly walked away.

I felt lost at first, frozen and unable to think. After some time had passed, I knelt down on the floor and began to try to put everything back in the box, but the box seemed much smaller now. After a while I realized that the broken pieces of my life wouldn’t fit in the box any more. I had a difficult time fitting everything in the box before it was dumped and was now faced with the task of trying to shove every broken piece, big or small, into a space never made to hold so much. It couldn’t be done.

With tears flowing down my face, I removed each broken piece of my life and spread them neatly around the floor beside the box. I gazed upon them and mourned my losses. How could I continue without these pieces of my life whether they were whole or broken? I tried desperately to find a way to glue the shattered pieces back together. I insisted I would succeed, but after a while I realized I was lying to myself. No amount of glue or tape could ever fix these shattered pieces and make them whole again, and they could not fit back into the box I held no matter how I tried. I didn’t know what to do.

I knew I couldn’t go on without these pieces but they couldn’t be fixed. I cried and I cried…a lot, and then I began to pack the unbroken items back into the box. Even these unbroken pieces were marred in some way by scratches, bruises, dents or cracks, but they were still intact despite their scars. As I placed the last of the unbroken pieces of my life into the box, I saw something through the tears welled up in my eyes. My box was full and not because it was smaller. My box had grown in size and the scarred but unbroken pieces of my life that now resided in this box had grown, too. 

The box I packed my life into was completely full and it no longer seemed like anything was missing. The shattered pieces on the floor around me were no longer important. I had thought for over two decades that each item I had packed away was extremely important and irreplaceable. I had packed each of my precious “belongings” away to protect them, but all that I had really accomplished was to hold on to them for two decades longer than God wanted me to. These things had no real value and actually lowered the value of the other pieces of my life.

My life outside of my imaginary box has changed considerably. Some of the changes were painful to live through but each and every one of them was needed and has brought me to a new place in my life…a new place where I feel respected, wanted and loved.

Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

I thought I would not survive the complete change my life has been through; but, as it says in Isaiah 43:2, I did not drown or burn. I made it and I am happy for the first time in many, many years.